Dealing With Angst

"Enlightenment"

Acrylic on stretched canvas 48 inches x 48 inches

Last weekend, I held Open Studio in my home and studio. There was plenty of work to display. So much, in fact, that much of it had to be on the floor of the studio leaning against the walls and the furniture. After the weekend, we were 'treated' to an early rainstorm . . . .two of them, actually. The last one dumped quite a bit of water by our standards here. Enough so that it flooded my studio!! Mind you, it wasn't deep. but enough to thoroughly soak the carpets and everything else that was on the floor . . . . . . .including some of my work.

One would think I would have picked up all that stuff before the storm. In fact, I had worked much of one day outdoors to prep for the oncoming drenching, but thought nothing of the studio getting wet. After all, we have sump pumps, french drains and all manner of devices to keep it from happening. NO SUCH LUCK! All that artwork had to remain where it was for the next weekend of Open Studio on October 15, 16.

On Friday morning, I went to the studio to enjoy my day of freedom and to be able to paint. As I walked from the bottom of the stairs toward the work area, I heard the "squish" sound at my feet. GAAAARRRRRRRR !!!! Nooooooo!!

So, instead of painting, I ended up mopping and moping. And Schlogging heavy, soaked carpets to an outdoor location to drain and dry them (only if more rain didn't come!) By Friday night, the mess was cleaned up, the dehumidifier was busy evaporating the entire place and all the artwork was up off the floor . . . . .and the studio had been turned up side down!

Saturday morning I was beginning to twitch from lack of easel time. So, I went to my local art store, bought three large tubes of acrylic paint and a four foot square canvas (122 cm x 122 cm). I couldn't wait to get it home, mount it on the easel and attack it with abandon! I needed to vent!

In a matter of two short hours I had covered the canvas without a preliminary plan. I was slinging paint and hoping for some sort of non representational outcome. (If you have been reading my blog over time, you know that is NOT how I do my art. I plan!) So, there I was painting straight from my emotions letting my mind assist here and there for a few design decisions, but I had no outcome in mind. It had the effect of standing and screaming my head off for two hours. I was emotionally drained and satisfied at the same time. The next day, I returned to the studio, and looked hard at what I had done. Believe me, it is very difficult to separate emotional intelligence from mental intelligence. I was in a completely different state of mind when I stepped up to the easel. So, I spent a few more hours tweaking here and there . . . . . . and up popped this figure in the painting . . . . . .All that was in that space before was a hot colored shape. This day, the shape became a figure. Who knew he would show up? Then, this morning, I sleepily realized I had not imposed enough color variation or tied a few things together to unify the piece and create a balance. So, back to the studio I went.

This is the state I left it in this morning. Is it finished? I don't know, really. But I do know my angst is gone. I feel better now.

Gems of Wisdom

Yesterday, I happened upon Diane Santarella’s name in association with a gentleman, whom I have watched for years, William “Skip” Lawrence.

Being the person of curiosity that I am, I Googled Diane wanting to know more about her and her art. This act led me to two blogs . . . . .actually, more than two . . . . of Diane’s and Skip’s.

Departing from that line of thought for the moment . . . . .it has been my observation in my art life that there is much introspection occurring in the good artist, whether or not it be conscious. Coming up with ‘who am I’ for the artist is not an easy process in this society because we have so many distractions beginning with TV and probably ending with working to survive. The mass media has led us Americans down a path of cheap, easy to come by images that are usually shallow and don’t have much to say about the creator of the image. So, the authentic, honest artist must strip away layers of years of ‘indoctrination’ about conformity and acknowledging the accepted, conventional wisdom.

All that said, I have spent twenty five years trying to strip away all that stuff and back in 1994 was introduced to Skip in a one week workshop. Not that I wanted to paint like him, but was most curious about his ideas and how he might have stripped away the fluff of indoctrination and put his own, authenticity on the line. It wasn’t long after that workshop that I saw something in Skip’s painting history which made me sit up and take notice: Absolute Growth. That is a biiig deal in my book because most workshop instructors are about “How to Paint Like Me.” They do little to change out of fear that their followers will leave them. So, growth and change, in my eyes, is an act of outright courage. It is an outright confrontation of the fears which follow many artists.

Like many workshop instructors, Skip led the masses in how to paint the traditional watercolor images for some years . . . .he even published a book with those images in them. Then there was a sudden shift. And that shift has evolved into one of the most frank and authentic bodies of work I have ever seen come from a water media artist. He has consistently moved to higher levels of newness every single year! Moreover, he stands by his work and his ideas without waver.

Back to the subject of the blogs by Diane Santarella . . . . . .put in short verbiage, it appears she is the mirror image of Skip in her own authentic approach to art and living. It is a rare soul, these days, who seems to be able to articulate his or her presence in the events of living, and Diane is one of those rare souls. Mind you, I use the word ‘presence’ with conviction because there are few of us in life who can BE PRESENT in the moment of what ever is happening. We, as human animals, seem to add our ‘stuff’ to what ever is occurring, be it interpretation or part of the events of the past or combinations of both. Diane, on the other hand, seems to be present in every moment of her life and acknowledges the realms of possibility which lie in each moment. No small state of mind!

It seems to me that Skip and Diane have a unique place in living out their respective artistic lives: They are infatuated with each other (and they are married) because they can both SEE the absolute beauty and the reality of their presence in the moment. What each adds to those moments, via their art, is so vastly original and exposed that there is no BS in their world. No wonder their lives are so intertwined.

How glorious!

Here are a few links to follow if you are interested in Skip’s thoughts about art and Diane’s words and art. Obviously, I found both to be quite compelling!

http://dsantarella.blogspot.com

http://www.blogger.com/profile/00699936117444218506 on this page are seven links to as many different blogs.

http://skiplawrencestudionotes.blogspot.com/ Skip’s studio notes

A quote from Diane: "Ultimately, if you're going to do something personal, you have to look at your own mind, your own heart, to do it, Not out the window."

And another Santarella Gem:: “Approach each moment fresh, use your knowledge and skill as an assist, not a crutch, to discover the possibilities within each action, each choice.”

Someone once said, ‘Every moment is a gift. That is why they call it the present.”

And, in case either Skip or Diane stop by this blog . . . . . .thank you both for being so real and having the courage and wonderful audacity to offer it to all of us!