Dealing With Angst

Acrylic on stretched canvas 48 inches x 48 inches

Last weekend, I held Open Studio in my home and studio. There was plenty of work to display. So much, in fact, that much of it had to be on the floor of the studio leaning against the walls and the furniture. After the weekend, we were 'treated' to an early rainstorm . . . .two of them, actually. The last one dumped quite a bit of water by our standards here. Enough so that it flooded my studio!! Mind you, it wasn't deep. but enough to thoroughly soak the carpets and everything else that was on the floor . . . . . . .including some of my work.

One would think I would have picked up all that stuff before the storm. In fact, I had worked much of one day outdoors to prep for the oncoming drenching, but thought nothing of the studio getting wet. After all, we have sump pumps, french drains and all manner of devices to keep it from happening. NO SUCH LUCK! All that artwork had to remain where it was for the next weekend of Open Studio on October 15, 16.

On Friday morning, I went to the studio to enjoy my day of freedom and to be able to paint. As I walked from the bottom of the stairs toward the work area, I heard the "squish" sound at my feet. GAAAARRRRRRRR !!!! Nooooooo!!

So, instead of painting, I ended up mopping and moping. And Schlogging heavy, soaked carpets to an outdoor location to drain and dry them (only if more rain didn't come!) By Friday night, the mess was cleaned up, the dehumidifier was busy evaporating the entire place and all the artwork was up off the floor . . . . .and the studio had been turned up side down!

Saturday morning I was beginning to twitch from lack of easel time. So, I went to my local art store, bought three large tubes of acrylic paint and a four foot square canvas (122 cm x 122 cm). I couldn't wait to get it home, mount it on the easel and attack it with abandon! I needed to vent!

In a matter of two short hours I had covered the canvas without a preliminary plan. I was slinging paint and hoping for some sort of non representational outcome. (If you have been reading my blog over time, you know that is NOT how I do my art. I plan!) So, there I was painting straight from my emotions letting my mind assist here and there for a few design decisions, but I had no outcome in mind. It had the effect of standing and screaming my head off for two hours. I was emotionally drained and satisfied at the same time. The next day, I returned to the studio, and looked hard at what I had done. Believe me, it is very difficult to separate emotional intelligence from mental intelligence. I was in a completely different state of mind when I stepped up to the easel. So, I spent a few more hours tweaking here and there . . . . . . and up popped this figure in the painting . . . . . .All that was in that space before was a hot colored shape. This day, the shape became a figure. Who knew he would show up? Then, this morning, I sleepily realized I had not imposed enough color variation or tied a few things together to unify the piece and create a balance. So, back to the studio I went.

This is the state I left it in this morning. Is it finished? I don't know, really. But I do know my angst is gone. I feel better now.

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